I’m a self-confessed sports snob.
I don’t like sitting in the stands at a rugby, cricket or football game listening to idiots shout idiotic things at the players.
Like the guy who played rugby in high school 20 years ago, so he considers himself an expert and spends the full 80 minutes shouting “offside” when nobody is and claims to understand the scrum although he is clueless (only proper front rankers understand what happens in that dark and scary place).
Or the football fan who wants a red card for every tackle on one of his players and who also doesn’t understand the offside rule.
At the cricket there’s always someone who has a better batting plan to face one of the world’s best, claiming he would have smoked that ball “through the covers” when a full Test player edges it through to the keeper, or he would have hooked that bouncer out of the stadium when the professional gets pinned in the helmet.
Being forced to listen to this drivel frustrates me no end and takes away from my enjoyment of the game so I do my best to ignore it and laugh it off as the drunken ramblings of a sad little man, it’s always men, we've got to start being better as a gender.
There also seem to be more tennis experts than players these days ...
Golf, I thought would be different, but at the Joburg Ladies Open this weekend I found more of the same.
Unlike the other sports I’ve mentioned, you can play golf your whole life, not having to give it up when your knees, ankles, shoulders etc. have given out on you so I thought the ‘commentary’ outside the ropes would be more considered as still being involved in the sport would give a better understanding of how hard it is to play, boy was I wrong.
Men, again, were explaining to all and sundry how they would play a certain hole, where they’d drive it (some big hitters out there, they all hit it at least 300m, just ask them), how they’d hit their second shot to the perfect spot and make the simple putt for birdie.
These are weekend hackers who struggle to break 100 now spewing off at the mouth about how these professional women are playing Modderfontein incorrectly.
How dare they?
These women play on the Sunshine Ladies Tour and Ladies European Tour and practice every day, working tirelessly to take their games to a level the average golfer can only dream of and yet some dude who uses golf as an excuse to have a dop before the sun comes up is claiming he’s got a better understanding of the game …
Professional sportspeople work hard, they grind all the time to put food on the table for their families and the last thing they need is ‘expert’ advice from the peanut gallery.
So please, please, keep your advice to yourself, nobody needs to hear it.
Cheer for your team, your favourite player, show some 'gees' but stop telling people how to do their jobs.
And never, ever shout 'Mashed potatoes' or 'Get in the hole' when a pro it driving, you sound like a dumbass.
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